I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
