is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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