I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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