hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
