Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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