hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I need moral support for this bender
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
