do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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