i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
