i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Randomize
