Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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