All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
