The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
