Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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