So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He better not be in your backpack
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
