that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
