Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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