I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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