he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Let's paint friendship bongs
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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