i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
