My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
meet me or not, i'm out of control
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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