I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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