How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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