He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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