when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
