I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
