Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
