its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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