My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
