he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
