we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
