found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
