Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Then you guys just all showered together...?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
