he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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