Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
