Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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