is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
