New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
