normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
