hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
