i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
