splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
