Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
