I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Do you have feelings for this penis?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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