i don't like sucking hair
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize