we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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