is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
