I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
