babies were throwing up all over the place
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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