just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Non-Jews are for practice
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
