listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
