My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
