none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
